Dear Coleen: I’m frightened to leave my father who keeps carrying affairs

Dear Coleen

I have been married to my father for 24 years and we’ve been happy for many of that time. After we were married customarily a year, we found out we was awaiting a initial child.

We were happy about it, yet median by a pregnancy he began behaving strangely and we found out he was carrying an event with a lady he worked with.

We discussed it and he pronounced he was usually daunted by a suspicion of being a parent. We got by this really formidable time and 4 years after went on to have another child.

We had a happy few years after this until he got to 39 and, again, his actions became really suspicious. we confronted him, yet with no justification he denied an event and altered behind to a father we knew and loved. Although hurt, we attempted to pierce on and put it down to him coming 40 and carrying a midlife crisis.

Deep down, we didn’t trust it, though, and we became accessible with a man from work, substantially to get my possess back. We didn’t have an affair, yet – we usually texted any other. But my father saw a content one day and confronted me. we was blissful he’d found a summary since we wanted him to feel how he’d done me feel.

Two years ago, we became questionable again and we know he had another affair. we even found condoms, yet again he refuses to acknowledge it or plead it and we finish adult apologising for accusing him.

But we can’t pierce on this time – we can’t nap and I’m usually sanctimonious all is OK. I’m fearful to leave him as it’s so complicated.

What’s your advice?

Coleen says

I know that fear, yet we don’t consider you’re fearful of losing him; we consider you’re fearful of being on your possess and starting again. That feeling repelled me a many when my initial matrimony pennyless down. we couldn’t explain it to anyone, yet it was really strong.

I’ve also been in a same vessel as we – a one where your partner won’t acknowledge an event and we finish adult feeling guilty and like you’re going mad. But we consider we should trust your tummy instinct – it’s customarily right.

If we wish to give a matrimony one final go, afterwards we consider a customarily wish is counselling. If he doesn’t wish to go, afterwards go on your own.

It altered my life when my initial matrimony was violation down. we stranded with it and 6 months down a line, we had a light tuber impulse and realised we was OK and that we could be on my own.

And stop creation excuses for your husband. We all go by severe times in life, yet we don’t all go out and have affairs.

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